Personally, I am quite skeptical about meeting someone online because when I was studying/working in US, there were so many cases of online dating went wrong. At the same time, I also saw wonderful couples meeting online. In my mind, if there is a safer way to meet someone online, I may give it a shot. A married girl in my fellowship sent out a link on Faith to Date one day and I took a look at it. I like the venting process of Faith to Date platform and the arrangement is safe and sound. That is why I decided to join the program.
Dating is the stage to prepare for marriage. Of course, not all relationship will lead to marriage. For me, marriage is another stage in life to have someone to serve God together. My mind was set to date only Christian and prefer to have a guy that has a more solid faith foundation than me or at least similar as me. At the same time, I am a dog lover. I also want to find someone who loves dogs or at least accept dogs. Around every 2-3 years, I will have picture taken by professionals with my dog. As Faith to Date package includes professional photo shooting and they allow me to bring my dog. I don’t see any harm to get my professional picture taken with my dog while meeting some new friends along the way. Then, see where God will lead me to. Not sure if it is God’s ensure for me that things will be smooth or not, when I went to take my picture, I actually met the photographer on one of my good friend’s wedding day. What a coincidence!
The date set up by Faith to Date is very discreet and surly can meet people outside of our normal friend zone. (My bf and I have no common friends on social media.) The definition of Christian is very broad. I met other people from different stage of faith through the Faith to Date platform. It reminds me of the Parable of the Sower in Matthew 13. Finding someone who believes in Jesus and walks with Jesus are very important to me. Mr. Talk is out of the question. During the dating process/ get to know period, I have intentionally asked some faith questions and also see if the person I am dating with really is walking with Jesus, like testimony, favorite worship song, serving, tithing, etc. God has also designed male to lead. Thus, it is also important for me to see a guy can demonstrate leadership. My boyfriend has shown his strong faith foundation and leadership and also other good surprising strengths that I didn’t expect before, such as, super thoughtful, caring, detailed minded, patient, encouraging, tasteful, good at cooking etc.
Meeting someone who is truly walking with God and have a fruitful life is not easy. But, in the process, I can see God has prepared someone for me. Also, I see how God has equipped me during my single years to get ready for a relationship. Meeting a right person is not easy. The hardest is if I meet the right person, but I am not ready. God has sent the right person in the right timing! Seeing what I can contribute spiritually in this new relationship is encouraging. Moreover, in the whole dating process, I learnt to submit to God and pray for His guidance. Pray for the best to happen and also pray that if it is not His will, I am also ok to step back. Like Matthew 6:33 said, if we put God’s kingdom first, everything else will be taken care of.
In addition, what we think we need does not mean what is suitable for us. God knows the best. My church likes to encourage people do not have a long list of prerequisites when looking for another half. Also, don’t judge any single male as a potential half. Let things start with friendship. When I was came back from HK, I have a very specific list, like education qualification, height, etc. I am glad that I have thrown them out of the window, if not, I will be restricted by my prerequisites and can’t meet someone who is truly good to me. In the modern world, especially Hong Kong, some people will care about someone’s finance background or family background. If we truly believe that God is our provider and put God first in our finance, we should believe our faith God will provide enough for us. It is quite important to not see only what the person is, but what the person can become. If a person is faithful to God, God will sure be faithful to that person too as He never fails His promises. Instead of asking God what we wants, ask God to give us what He thinks is best for us. Ask Him to give us His sight to look people. Furthermore in Matthew 7:2, it talks about how we measured people, we will get the same measure treatment. If we don’t want to be judged in that way, why will we want to judge people in that way. Does it mean we ignore bad/ harmful qualities, of course not. But, treat others as how you wanted to be treated.
Many girls may want someone who read their minds. I didn’t expect that can happen because I knew a loving couples who have been happily married for 38 years, the husband still does not know what his wife wants to order for dinner in a restaurant. We all have needs in life, but some cannot ever be fulfilled by human, because those are God’s job. It is too much for any human to take God’s job.
Years of singleness do not mean that God has forgotten us, but He is working as always. If we allow God to transform us, we will be prepared for being in a relationship/ a marriage in a faster way. There is a reason that God didn’t ask my prayer right away. I don’t think any solid male Christian will think that I was a suitable half for him if I did not build a strong relationship with Jesus during my single years. Let Jesus take the driver seat in your life and let Him transform you. Life does not begin when we are in a relationship. Life has begun when we are in a relationship with Jesus. Having a good relationship is a fruit of having a relationship with Jesus.